Taking the cap off my bottled-up dreams

The main thing I hate about my profession (I guess is what I can call it), is that you have to carry the heavy load of bearing the blame of things that go wrong or don't go the way your superior necessarily likes or thinks it should go. Even when you know you've done the right thing and are not to blame, somehow the blame always gets placed on you. You're the middle man, and things always get stuck in translation with you. For the most part I have learned to accept this as being a part of the job, but it utterly frustrates me...which tells me I have not accepted it so well. Should I? I mean, would anybody be happy leaving a job where they had to carry the blame of things all the time? That's miserable, especially for somebody like me because I tend to absorb things like a sponge.

I intended only to do this kind of work (administrative) to get me through college. But seeing as though my career goals had been squashed & changed since then, this has been what I have given more time towards building and have excelled in. But definitely not where I want to be. I said before that I had lost my motivation regarding career plans, but when things like this happen, I can appreciate it because it nudges me to get on my edge again at doing what it really is I want to do in life. Every now & then I get discouraged about it & get to a stand-still. I got another nudge or two, so here I go again...trying to make something out of these here bottled-up dreams of mine.

So, I had thought to go away to school in Omaha because there's this really good school that had the program I wanted to go into - Public Administration. (I think I mostly just wanted to get away). But I missed my deadline to apply so I was discouraged about that. But one day at church my Pastor prayed for me and addressed a desire I had to go back to school. (I hadn't even said anything to her about it). She asked me what I wanted to do & I told her work in government with writing policies & such. She thought that was excellent for me to do. So she encouraged me to go & hurry up and go! So, I think I've had quite enough nudges to get me started. Tomorrow I'm going to a graduate open house at Oakland University. To my delight, I found that they have the MPA (Masters of Public Administration) program that I desire to go into. So, this may just be it - the cap taker-offer! We'll see.

L8r:
~faithful