Friday, September 27, 2013

I’ve heard that the reason why most people drown is because they panic in the water and lose control of their rationale. Then there’s the idea of “roll with the tide” which seems to infer that one should just let go and see where the wind and waves takes you instead of fighting against it.   I admit, there has always been a part of me that had a not so great feeling about this type of advice. 

When in our most troubling and life-threatening of times, our natural instinct is to put up a fight. But I’m learning that there is more than one way to fight. The one we tend to the most is to defend ourselves. This takes a lot of energy emotionally and physically.  The other way, can be likened to how Jesus fought in the moments leading up to his death.  Before Pontius Pilate, he didn’t defend himself when he had every right and reason to; even of being falsely accused.  Think of the many times Jesus experienced confrontation leading up to his death and he went against a natural instinctive response to retaliate or defend himself. In some cases, he chose to be quiet. In others he agreed to disagree.   He even went so far as to turn around and help those who were out to harm him.

Each of us face troubling situations that seem to threaten our livelihood, our future, maybe even our pride.  How many times have we taken a step back to consider how to fight it?  Most of us probably react the same way all the time because it’s what we’re used to.  But the kind of victory that Jesus experienced came from fighting a different kind of way.  All that he did (or didn’t do) in those situations, show me a powerful strategy against life’s harshness and the enemies blows.  Through all of that, Jesus didn’t give his enemies the authority to take his life. He humbled himself to death, and willingly laid his life down.  To me, this was his way of “rolling with the tide.”  Those winds and those waves led him to a place of total victory, power, and reign until he could ask the question, “Oh death, where is thy sting?”

This example encourages me to stop fighting the same way all the time. Stop giving my enemies authority over me. In the end, the enemy couldn’t get the glory for taking Jesus’ life. It was never there’s to take.  He, himself, laid it down.  We must learn to fight this way also.


Newborn Feelings

These feelings are all new to me.  My peers have already become familiar with them.  I’m lying here next to this tiny little person who has my cheeks.  I’m watching him watch me, smile at me for no reason at all, and look into my eyes until he falls into dreamland.  And I sleep with one eye closed and the other open, eager to protect him from his own bad dreams.  I have this overwhelming quest to make his life happy.  All my inadequacies that I've ever had in life must now cease.  I have no room left to be insecure.  I must be strong for him.  I still am amazed at the reality of him being mine.  God gave him to me.  I want to do my very best.  I don’t want to mess up.  Life suddenly has new meaning to it; the weight of purpose even heavier now.  I must go on.  I have someone to look after now who depends on my sanity, my strength, my motivation.  I feel all these things and I can’t help but notice that God must feel the same joy and fulfillment when he thinks of us. And most of us haven't done enough to deserve those sentiments. That’s refreshing to know.  I have my son, and God has me.  It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. :) I am not without.  I can do this!


Saturday, May 18, 2013

I dreamt too big

You're one of those people who have never been afraid to dream, to visualize success and see it played out perfectly in your mind. But the faith and motivation it takes to fuel that dream always seems so small. So you write it down and pack it away in your files along with the others you failed to realize before it. 

This is a pattern that some of us repeat too many times and for far too many years in our lives. Some people almost feel guilty for dreaming so big because they feel the weight of their incapability takes precedence. There are people in this world who dream big and are fortunate enough to have the circumstances around them that make it much easier for them to carry them out. That's not the case for the majority. Some of us have to work harder, believe bigger, and stay up longer to get things done. But that's OK, because these are the stories that resonate with people. These are the trials that we come to appreciate when we finally reach our goals. Be proud of them.

I work with a lot of business people and those who want to become business owners. And I find that some of what I do is to keep them motivated. When I'm developing their business plans, I am holding something so very precious in my hands. I have to take into account the many years it took for them to conjure up the nerve to say "I'm finally going to do this." I also have to realize that every time I speak with them I must keep them encouraged and motivated about the goal they've set their heart on and take it on as if it's my own.

But it's a two-edged sword. On the flip side, it tears me up inside that I have been helping others put their goals into fruition and have slacked on my own. I can champion someone else's dream, but not my own. I can make others' dreams go from impossible to this is actually happening, while my faith fuel runs on empty in my dream car. That makes me a hypocrite. :(

Well, I know I'm not alone in feeling this way, which is why I'm sharing this. Let's be the champion of our own dreams for a change and put some faith fuel behind them and get moving. Years have gone by, people have come and go, and yet that dream lingers over your head. Embrace it. Give it a fighting good chance to finally develop and change your life. You can do this!


Sunday, February 24, 2013

Back in the saddle

I took some time away from blogging for what was supposed to be a brief period of self-reflection, recharging, and refocusing. But with the added pressures of new things going on in my life at that time, it took me away from writing for much longer than I had anticipated. So much has changed since then, and I’ve learned so much since that I couldn’t give all those nuggets and things I’ve gained from them in one blog. So, I hope that you’ll take the journey with me from here and discover them as we go along.

One thing I will say is that I’ve found that if you stay away from the thing you love so much for too long, it can begin to have an effect on the other things around you. Not that blogging is just the end all be all of what I love. Not at all. But writing in and of itself is and has always been an outlet for me since I was a little girl - A sense of healing, release, and therapy. J  Plus, I can’t bear the thought of knowing that some of you have really been missing my writing, which you have expressed. You may be the very reason I have decided to begin again. And that’s enough for me for now.

I love yall…and I’m glad that you have reached out to me to begin again.

With that being said, here's an "oldskool' joint from Commissioned that I thought I'd share. It's so funny to hear them rap like the Christian version of DMC.
Back In The Saddle



Thursday, July 19, 2012

They're saying this, but GOD said this...

It's a horrible thing to have a mind that always second-guesses itself. Torture even.  It's easy to become fixated on what others say/think about you, how they see you, your progress (or lack thereof).  As a result you become stuck there and begin to see yourself the way they do.  Stop that! This is bad.  

Do you soak criticism in so deeply that it cripples your progress even further? No matter how others see you and feel about your current situation, be even more intent on knowing what God says about you, what he promised you, and how he intends to get you where he wants you to be.

Your time with God is of utmost importance and precious for your continued growth. Along your journey, people will grow weary of you, your course and your circumstance. People will not understand and may laugh, judge, misappropriate, and whatever else. But in your communication with Him, allow His voice to speak clearly and shine past those other voices. Keep moving. Hold with a tight grip what God is saying to you and never let those words go. For they are your LIFE. In the end, it's HIS word that will stand and those same words coupled with your faith (no matter how small) will keep YOU standing.

Stop patronizing everyone's words and start solely relying and gripping God's word to you. Hang on to them for dear life.


"When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on." 
--Thomas Jefferson

Friday, June 15, 2012

Being black. Being human.

My self-consciousness of my race has never been heightened to such a level as it has been as of late.  On a normal basis, I don't wake up in the morning with the thought of what my race is anywhere on my mind, or when riding in my car or grocery shopping, etc.  I wake and operate on a daily basis with the dominant consciousness that I am a human being - a woman with a family and a purpose in life.  It doesn't really dawn on me that I'm "black" until I enter into a situation where the people around me remind me that I am.  And that's unfortunate. 

I'm human when I realize my refrigerator is empty and I need to go grocery shopping so my family can eat.  I'm black when I get to the grocery store in a predominantly white neighborhood and looked at in amazement.

I'm human when I get up and get dressed for work everyday to make a living.  I'm black when I climb up the ranks amongst Caucasian peers and in so many words and actions am told, "You can't succeed here."

I'm human when I search for a nice home for my family to dwell and grow in.  I'm black when I step out the car to meet the realtor as their face expression says, "Oh, Lord, their black!"

So, with all these encounters that I'm sure to face on a day-to-day basis, it's hard to live "free" in my mind and unrestricted when I'm constantly reminded that I'm black, and that black is associated with all bad in some people's eyes.  It saddens me that I can't live in a world where I'm unguarded because of the bias of others because of the color of my skin.

Our forefathers fought so hard for our equality. And blatant slavery has been abolished because of it. But the war against racism is far from over.  I grew up thinking because slavery was no more, racism would die with it. The older I get the more I see it never died. It learned how to adapt. It became smarter. It found out how to survive quietly in our modern day society.   And yet, I hear its voice so very loud and clear - now more than ever. 

The attitude of some sickens me that it's their world and we just live in it.  Everyday I have to fight to not shy away in their world; to let my blackness remain bold, and my humanness remain just as relevant and precious as the next's.

A young black professional.


Monday, June 11, 2012


I use to take my company laptop home faithfully to complete unfinished work and catch up on projects that were on the horizon. I had this drive and motivation to stay on top and ahead of my game. It paid off too. I loved my job and it showed in the level of dedication I had in doing it well. This wasn't so long ago, but it feels like it. Circumstances (be it new faces, new environment, etc) can alter things dramatically. 

I wanted everything to stay the same. Change is OK so long as it isn't painful. But, if we don't experience the pain of change, we won't push ourselves to go further. I shouldn't have fallen so deeply in love with my career that I neglected to keep pursuing my dreams full force - knowing that my career wasn't my destiny. It was only a training and prepping ground. While the advancement is very notable and necessary for my skills and experience, every ground we land on is not meant to be permanent, but a passageway.

I know that I was born to be an entrepreneur. And although I've proven to be successful in other areas of life, I have to keep reminding myself what my purpose is and keep my focus. I challenge you all to do the very same. Never give up on your dreams. No matter how far out of reach they may seem. Every step you take towards it you are one step closer.

We pour too much of our attention and motivation into the wrong areas and miss out on our opportunities to achieve and fulfill our goals and dreams. It's time for a check-up. Find out those areas in your life that are sucking your motivation and that steal your time and attention. Re-route your motivation and determination to those areas that will be fruitful and watch your vision unfold. Surround yourself with like minds and remove dead weights. Create an environment that will allow you to succeed.


Monday, May 14, 2012

I will not be. I am already.

God, in his great power, has the ability to regulate and change our minds.  As we learn to walk in his ways we begin to take on more of a Christ-like mind, which enables us to think right, and eventually act right.  Yet, right thinking requires some initiative on our part as well. A lot of people who struggle with things could probably attest to the fact that most of it is a mind battle.  And unfortunately, we tend to think that there's nothing we can do about it.  On the contrary, you can gain control back over your mind, and turn it towards Him. You can take the negative thoughts in your mind, renounce them, and replace them with positive, right thoughts.  Soon enough, you will begin to see a change in your behavior, attitude, and habits.  It all begins with your mind.

The trick that we somehow fall into is in believing that we have to accept the state that our minds are in.  This is not true.  We have the power to change our way of thinking.  It takes practice, prayer, and obedience to God's word.

Everyone struggles with doubting thoughts in their minds in some way or another. Recognize what those are, and for each of those thoughts, write out and memorize thoughts opposite of those and rehearse them every day - sometimes more than that.  As those old ways of thinking arrive in your mind, immediately renounce them and replace them with your new and positive thinking. Instead of thinking about what you are not, think of what you are and what you shall be.  Instead of thinking of what you have failed at, think of what you want to and will accomplish in the future.  Instead of thinking of what the enemy tells you, think on what God says in His word.

Every negative thought and habit needs to be replaced with something positive. Be proactive in making you a better person and don't expect God to do all the work for you.  Don't go another day letting your mind toss and waver you.  Tighten up those thoughts and see yourself already where you need to be.

Someone told me something powerful that I never forgot, and this person didn't even have God in their life.  He said...

"If you want a better life, then live as it that life already exists.  Replace the 'I wants' with 'I am' and watch how that life unfolds as such."

Try these scriptures:
Proverbs 23:7
Romans 12:2
Philippians 2:5

Try these aspirations:
I am happy.
I am healthy.
I am successful.
I am saved.
I forgive.