"Gold-Digger" - a person who uses charm to extract money or gifts from others (Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, Eleventh Edition)
I've had several conversations with a few brothers, and one of their big issues with women nowadays is the growing phenomenon of "gold-digging women." I respect their opinions and how they feel, long as their not stereotypical, sexist, and illogical. I'm not big on "feminist" issues, but one of my pet peeves is guys with sexist language. But with this topic, I have to say that I feel for my brothers...although I do have an interesting twist on why I feel this is such a big issue today.
I'm still rather young, but I do recall a time when older women I watched would talk to "broke" guys...if they had some other dominant quality, such as looks or personality. Women tend to be pretty patient with brothers who don't have much, but have that "growth" potential about them and can usually help them get to that point. A lot of that has changed today, for a lot of reasons. To get really down to the nitty-gritty...the world is just crazy now. Women get men caught up in financial woes by getting pregnant and taking advantage of the system. There are a lot of men out here who don't use wisdom and for that I don't feel that sorry for them, and there are some men out here who mean well and still get played. You got some women out here who scream "rape" and immediately ask for the millionaire's millions to settle the case. But here's one in particular that I just am so disgusted with, and this hits home with regular, everyday people.
I used to work with this girl at a mortgage company a while back. She was an attractive young woman...about 26 years old. She had a nice shape, tall, long, black pretty hair, hazel eyes, and nice brown skin...a nice girl. She had a boyfriend who was a police officer, making over $60,000 a year (with over time of course), took care of her, and seemed to have treated her very well. Not to mention, he was a christian and vowed that he wouldn't have pre-marital sex with her until they got married. And he wanted to marry her. She, claiming to be some kind of christian herself, didn't appreciate this guy. She wanted pre-marital sex, she wanted more excitement, and seemingly, more money. She obviously wasn't at all content with her hard-working and loving boyfriend. So, one day, she comes in and tells me about her old-new friend that comes along...a guy she used to date, but he moved away to pursue his dreams of being a rap star. He comes back, relaying to her the good news that he's about to drop his new album and wanted to get back with her. I shouldn't have been surprised to know that she would even for one minute consider dropping her boyfriend for this guy, but I was. It baffled me to the fullest extent. She said that she was having the hardest time deciding what she wanted to do. Her words almost exactly was, "Yeah, my boyfriend is good to me and everything, but this other guy is about to be paid...and famous. Gurl...I just don't know what to do." I probably sat there with my mouth wide open. It was unbelievable to me. Anyhow, I said all this to legitimize the reason I feel for the brothers out here trying to do right by yourself, God, and your companion. I always knew gold-digging women were real, but I have evidence of this for real now. I wonder what ole' girl chose. I never stayed in touch with her...she was a hot mess as you can probably depict.
Now...here's where some guys may disagree with me, but I'm sticking to my belief. I believe a large percentage of the whole new crop of gold-digging women that have emerged in our generation is a direct result of the pride, ego, and "need to floss" attitude that males have. For example, why in most of the music, pretty much since I was in middle school, do guys portray the "get the money, get the girls" attitude? It never ceases...the hottest videos, albums, and artists you see, buy, and hear talk about how much money they have, how big their rims are, how bad their car is...with naked girls dancing all around them. Imagine now...I'm a young teenager, growing up hearing and seeing this...when I get older, what will I be attracted to???? A guy with a bad ride, big rims, ice, and expensive clothes, because that's what the guys are rapping and singing about. In turn, what this has done is birthed a new breed of gold-digigng women because the guys feel like they need to floss everything they have to get the girls. And I'm not just talking about famous people...this saturates down to even the common folk. My question to the fellas is, why go through such extreme measures to get a girls attention if you don't want to be plagued with a gold-digging woman? Just like the guys say about females, if you dress like a hooker, you will get treated like one right? Well, I propose the same principle to my fellas out here. If you feel the need to floss and just gotta let people see your assets, that's what you are going to attract...females who want your assets more than they really want you. I'm not saying if you are a successful brother and you have things to show for it, by all means, that doesn't mean come outside looking like a bum and drive a hooty even though you can afford a benz. But your attitude, your motives for doing what you do, you need to check yourself. Hey...every guy's not guilty of this. But a large majority are.
I will close with this...if you read my previous blog entry about the sugar daddy who I met at the gym...why did he feel the need to tell me where he work at, he owned a parking lot, and has a secretary??? If I wasn't "christian-like" and had the mentality of most of these females out here do...the first thing in my mind would tell me..."Oh yeah, I hit a gold mine." I mean...I didn't even ask this man what he had...he volunteered to tell me. COME ON NOW...the point I'm trying to make here is that: guys...you are are partially to blame for why women out here are out to get your stuff. If you can get a woman with other qualities you have other than what kind of car you drive, where you work at, or how much money you have in the bank, you need to be grateful. Some guys are much too dull after you take away all their possessions to yet attract women...so they try to capitalize on their possessions. That sucks because that's not really a true representation of YOU. Lastly, no woman wants a broke man...that's for sure. She wants to be able to feel secure, protected, and settled...in every aspect. That's logical and natural. You can't label a woman a gold-digger for that reason. But if you have been digged...maybe you need to lay low on your flossin' a bit. To a girl like me...that's such a turn off, but I guess I'm not the average girl.
Please leave your comments. I am very open to your thoughts, opinions, disagreements, etc. It's all gravy!
L8r:
Ms. Pinky
8 comments:
I am the first to leave a comment, that is fine.. Faithe, I agree with you totally. Some things are more true than others, and one thing people don't want to accept is truth..
hey faith, good job on the whole issue... i really enjoyed it...i do agree wit you on the whole thing about guys flossin' they stuff and then getting a gold-digger, i mean come on, what do u expect?...seriously, and guys need to stop frontin' cuz' they know they like the gold digger when she first come along and they just hopin' she really gone end up liking them...but i can't blame the gold diggers either, i mean i ain't hatin', do ya thang if that's what you do and men are so ignorant that they don't even see it coming. you have to be really wise about the people you get with.
signed, a woman who isn't a gold-digger,
Jenny
LOL...I like that signature Jenny.
The other end of this issue...is the fact that there are a lot of guys who are intimidated and stand-offish of a girl who is too successful and independant. It's kind of like one of those "you can't win for losing" kind of things. They don't want a gold-digger, and they don't want an independant woman.
I see it like this...A woman nowadays has to be independant to survive and stand on her own two feet...guys need to chill out on this,for real; as long as she is not too proud to humble down and let the man be the man. That's my take. :-)
Ms. Pinky
OMG, such a good entry. I call it THE SNOW WHITE SYNDROME. Women and Men a like have it. Women expect men to come swip them off thier feet and live like a princess, never have to worry about money or other real life problems. Men want to have fat pockets and flaunt thier stuff like Prince Charming. Letting everyone know that are rolling in the benjamins. At the end, its a complete fantasy. I was talking to my girlfirend the other day about dating a guy that doesn't have much money. I told her this, if a man is our age and successful, he will not have much money because they are young and at the beginning of their careers. Women should not bruden men and expect to do things they don't expect from themselves. At the end of the day, happiness is on the top of the list. Your other half may have bought you a nice fur coat and prada shoes but if your unhappy, the shoes and the coat mean nothing.
LA
AMEN, AMEN, AMEN!!! Very nicely put LA. Couldnt've said it any better than that.
F.G.
Loved the entry/ comments and couldn't agree with you ladies more, but I will add this:when I become est. I do want a man that is financially on my level. I don't want to have to be the bread winner/provider.I do want someone who can take care of me... not just in money but the whole package(ladies u are aware of what is included in the paskage...so dont act clueless). I don't want to be making 6 figures and boyfriend barely bringing in 30 grand yr. Ultimately the most important issue is love and intentions. You can love someone for what they can do for you, but not necesarly for who they are and this is another issue this issue can go beyond material and become a sexual factor or company or the word game. A lot of women just want to talk and listen to all the sweet things a guy can pour into her ears. OOKKAAYYYY a whole notha topic...naw here i go preachin and teachin and speakin. Love ya
Felicia
Wow, first off faith what an insightful and thought provoking entry. I do have to relate back to a previos entry when I said that behavior has a lot to do with who you attract( Not talking about anyone in particular and especailly none of the people i know). Women want a man that is capablle of certain basic things and also isn't afraid to share the love(cash).I ahve to quote Kanye "I'm not a gold digger but I aint messin wit no broke Ni##@. I feel as though men want a women to be old skool in her commitment to them as providers and women as nurtures but guess what fellas you gotta provide something or we are not gonna be all that nurturing. However all the intelligent and lovely ladies whom have graced us with their oppinions already know that is why we suffer through Wayne on a weekly basis despite the no parking,nasty pigeons and bums cause we know that money is a defense and if the man aint gonna have none you better believe we are.
Millah
Ain't that the truth!
But Millah always tryin' to be deep and use her psycology intellect on er'body. Keep it real wit a sister...OK!!! lol
U alright wit me though.
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