I am becoming!

Bouquet of roses at work - very nice. 
Random lunch dates in the afternoon - nice. 
Giving and receiving thoughtful gifts on holidays - heartwarming!

What woman wouldn't want to participate in these kinds of treats?  We can all sit here and wallow in ashes about missing out on these things, but at the end of the day what keeps my head above water is the fact that, I'm just not ready yet.  But I'm almost 30.  Why am I still not ready?  Because I'm learning to enjoy me!  I'm finding out what I want out of life and what I'd like to accomplish as an individual.

If you've lived a life dictated by what others thought of you, what they expected of you, and never knowing who you are and all you have to offer, you will never be able to fully develop your relationship with your true mate, or with God.  Some of us made the mistake of being too emotionally involved with people for a large portion of our young lives.  As a result, it shaped our view of ourselves into something that wasn't a real picture.  And it also makes you unbelieving of what God says that you are!  I never got to know who I was, by myself.  There are a lot of young women out here who fall in this same category.  We try to fill an emptiness with someone who can define who we are, when in fact, they are only draining more of the you that you are supposed to be coming into.  Wish I had learned this a long time ago.  Still, I am grateful to have learned.

If I could offer any advice to young women it would be to get to know who you are by yourself.  Because when you add on too many other different opinions, your view becomes crowded and your identity lost.  Allow yourself adequate time to grow, to know what you want your future to look like and how you can get there.  Women who go off and get married before having this realization tend to find themselves lost in their marriage.  The same applies to men.  You can contribute more when you know who you are and what you have to offer.  You must first be comfortable and happy with yourself before you can make someone else comfortable and happy.

Long story short, I'm glad I didn't get married when the opportunities presented themselves.  I may be missing out on the flowers, the lunches, the romantic dinners, and such.  But when I lie down in bed at night, I can look up at the ceiling and sigh, thinking to myself "I am becoming!"  If I never find happiness with someone else, I am determined to be able to say I was happy being me!

L8r:
~faithful