Black men and women: The great divide

The battle between black men and women seems to be a never-ending war.  The black men think black women are too independent, headstrong, and unappreciative.  The black women think black men are dogs, unmotivated, and overbearing.  Where is the common ground that both parties can reach?  It seems we're growing world's apart.  Is there something we can do about it or should we just let bygones be bygones?

I'm hearing more and more of my female peers say they are open to the thought of dating and/or marrying outside their race (and actually prefer it).  I second that notion to be honest.  However, I'm not one to discriminate.  When love finds me it really won't matter much what race they are.  I'm also hearing quite a few of my male peers enjoy the sights of women outside their race.  While vacationing in Florida this summer, I was listening to a talk radio station and they played this country-sounding rap song about women's butts.  One line in the song stood out to me because it said something along the lines of the white women's butts are just as large as the black women now.  With that added perk, black men don't really feel as obligated to revert to their race of women anymore.  Hey...sometimes, I have to admit, I really don't blame them.  Being with a woman at all takes a great deal of patience.  Add a black woman to the mix and you'll need a lot more. 

We are tough, no doubt about that.  But I think each gender needs to take more time to understand each other's point of view, the whys for each other's actions and dispositions.  Black women are not independent and headstrong for no reason.  On the flip side, black men are over-bearing, unmotivated, and unfaithful for no reason.  Surprisingly, I think some of the same reasons why black men and women are the way they are come from the same disadvantages.  It's just as important for young women to have strong, leading men in their lives just as it is for a young man growing up.  Society seems to say that our men are the ones who have lucked out because of absent or uninvolved fathers.  They forget about the women though.  A lot of us missed out on a good father figure in the home.  As a result it created many disadvantages for both genders in different ways.  Women grew up with the notion that we had to work hard to achieve and not let anything stand in our way.  We grew up with this motivated drive to do better than men to prove that we didn't need a man to survive and be successful.  We could do it on our own.  On the contrary, young men grew up not knowing what directions they were going, living aimlessly.  They grew up on their own model (which may or may not have worked), not on a proven model that was passed down to them because no one was there to give it to them. 

Certainly this does not share a full picture for everyone, but for a lot of people this is true.  There's a reason for all of these things and if we don't address them and take the time to understand why we are the way we are, we will continue to grow world's apart.  And as we're taking the time to understand each other, we have to mix the ingredient of compassion in with it.  At this time in the world, we don't need to be divided.  Embrace the wonderful cultures and different lifestyles that God has allowed each of our races to experience, but never neglect to stand by your own.  If I choose to marry outside my race, I could not ever in good faith bash black men.  While I may think they are way too aggressive and over-bearing, somehow I still greatly admire their strength and confidence.  It's one I have not seen in any other race as of yet.  Although we may disagree, and maybe even clash, we should never down each other, but stand for one another.  After all, no matter what side you choose, you will always be...black!

L8r:
~faithful