It's so hard to say good-bye

There are some people who really have a hard time making adjustments. It's not so much that they are stubborn, but moreso that they value consistency and building upon what's already there. They don't mind making necessary changes, but big changes scare them and it takes a little longer for them to adjust to them. I've found myself to be a bit like this. Because I value consistency so highly, I often find myself not having time for people or things that are not stable (i.e. stable in producing consistent results, stable in relationship-building, etc). Most of the really good friends I have, I have known all my life (or a large portion of it) and it took years and years of building. Thus if I were ever faced with the circumstance of having to let them go...that would be heart-wrenching for me to say the least. Even if that choice meant my progress and future. I find that these same drawbacks present themselve in other areas of my life, such as work and other areas.

If you have this personality type, or deal with someone who has this personality type, allow me to offer you a bit of advice. Patience! You must be patient with yourself, and patient with the person you deal with that has this type of peronality. These type of people tend to look at everything long-term. They don't live in the now too often. Thus, what may be funny to you now, in their mind will not be funny in the long-run so don't expect them to laugh! What may be a temporary set-back, in their mind could negatively effect the health of the relationship in the long-run. It's important for this type of personality to have people around them who will bring balance. Not just any kind of balance though. Good balance. Not the kind of balance that would require them to go against their foundation.

One thing I am learning; however, with having a bit of this in my personality is to not focus on what you're letting go, which in the "now" hurts. But rather the growth and progress that can and will be made as a result.

good-bye Sidekick!

For example: I recently had an issue with my cell-phone carrier. They lost their data service for the particular phone I had. It caused some major set-backs with my cell-phone service, including losing all my data (phone numbers, notes, calendar items, etc). I loved the phone I had! And I had every intention on keeping that phone and keeping up with all the upgrades and what not (building). Well, because the cell-phone carrier had problems with their service it caused my cell phone to act out-of-character and it stopped doing all the things it normally could do; things I had needed it to do in order to do ordinary business. Silly me though...I put up with it for a while before I even called to see what was going on and recognized that it was a national problem that every owner of that cell phone was having. And even after I learned that, I still didn't realy take many steps to get rid of it. In fact, I still wanted to purchase the upgraded phone they had recently released (which was having the same problems).

Anyhow, after some time I finally realized that the problem was significantly setting me back. I wasn't able to get anything done because of this problem and I had to come to a quick decision. Keep dealing with this problem until they figure out how to fix it, or get another phone, preferably with another cell phone carrier! After discussing it in my head back and forth I finally decided to choose the latter. I got my new phone, and it's so much better and offers more of the things I really needed than the other phone. Yet I find myself still so much attached to the other phone that I still use it and play with it and wish I could still keep it! I finally have what I need now, but if I never experienced that circumstance, I wouldn't have ever chosen to get the new phone I have now, which I am coming to appreciate more and more because of all the new features.

Point is, it took me some time to make that decision, while the people in my life were effected by my inactivity because they couldn't reach me and I couldn't reach them. Sometimes it takes a little longer for people to see that something in their life (as bad as they want it) is hurting them and not helping them and they need to let it go. But you have to be patient to let them come to that realization. It's sometimes necessary for you to step back and be quiet and let them see, and sometimes necessary for you to be there to offer support and good suggestions, and let patience have her perfect work!

L8r:
faithful