Forgiveness

I’m blogging on this topic as a source of examination of what this word really means. In life, there are certain acts that we just don’t want to fall victim of. And while we want to believe that we are capable of forgiving someone if they committed one of those acts, are we really? Well, the answer is no. And I say that because some things we fall victim of, it takes God to teach us how to forgive, and go through a healing process along with it. But we have to have a will to forgive. The strength might not be there, but the will to forgive must be if we can receive the help from God we need.

There’s a situation that I’m currently watching take place. I’ve actually been witnessing this for years, and not only me, but others also. And while I’m not directly affected by the consequences of it, I definitely am indirectly affected…I and others also. I’ll be the first to admit that it was a very hurtful thing to encounter, being, in my opinion, one of those acts that you never wish on anybody really, let alone yourself or someone you know. Everyone can admit to the fact that it was a horrible mistake to make and resulted in embarrassing and hurtful consequences. And sometimes, talking it over is one of the best remedies, rather than leaving bottled up feelings and bitter thoughts about it. But how loooooooong do you discuss the matter? At some point, there’s nothing more that talking about it can do. I’m finding out that there’s a thin line in talking about it to get release, and talking about it because you’re still holding on to the hurt of it.

If the person that made the mistake knows they did, it is, in my opinion, unwise, unthoughtful, and just downright wrong to continue to bring it up, joke about it when it’s still a very uncomfortable matter, and throw it in their face.

When I was younger, I dealt with things very internal. I didn’t talk much, I observed a whole lot, and listened – much of the reason why I write a lot now, because as a child this was the way I expressed myself, even if no one else was reading it. One of the downfalls with my character then was that it was hard for me to forget things, let them go, and to forgive. Now, after having dealt with some of those issues I had as a child, I find myself more forgiving then what I even knew I was. This weekend, I discovered compassion in my heart that I didn’t even realize was there. It bothers me to hear people magnify someone’s mistakes and/or weaknesses. Probably because I myself have been victim of that same ridicule in several situations that have happened in my life. It made me question what forgiveness really means to me. And when people say they have forgiven someone, if they really have or if they are cheating themselves on the relief and the freedom that comes as a result of forgiving.

Forgiveness means to give up resentment of or claim to requital for, to grant relief from payment of, and to cease to feel resentment against. A lot of times, we say we forgive as an advantage and a freedom only on our part, but we don’t realize that the person we are forgiving should experience the same freedom that you have, meaning, if you’re going to forgive me, let me experience the freedom in it by not having to hear you rub it in my face, or throw off on it, or continue to remind me what I did wrong. And this is what bothers me because people don’t really know what true forgiveness means. We use the word to cater to how we want them to be forgiven, but we’re really keeping them in bondage.

And to add to this, if I haven’t already made some of you mad, forgiveness is required even if that person NEVER admits they were wrong. Are you waiting on an admittance of wrong-doing before you can forgive them? Are you waiting on them to humble before you do? But that’s the art of humbling. The joy in humbling is being able to beat the next person to the chase, when you’re even the one who has been wronged or hurt.

Nothing really catches me by surprise anymore in life. I don’t know if this is a bad thing, but a lot of times I’m grateful for being this way. As much as my character is built on loving and cherishing the people in my life, I know that nobody’s perfect and everything doesn’t always work out like you hoped it would. But one thing we should do is always be ready to forgive. It took me some time, some hurts, and situations to get to this place, but I’m here and I thank God for the mind and the will to practice forgiveness. Forgiveness takes effort. And I want to put more effort in being a forgiving person. I think that’s an excellent quality to possess.

2 Corinthians 2:7-8 “…ye ought rather to forgive him, and confirm him, lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow. Wherefore I beseech you that ye would confirm your love toward him.”

L8r:
Ms. Pinky