The stigmas and stereotypes in inter-racial relationships

I was reading an email the other day that one of my friends sent me about black men dating white women and it was very interesting. This article was supposedly published in the Sister to Sister magazine a while back. This blog entry is definitely not to bring any additional twists or turns to what had already been said. But the topic of inter-racial relationships is what I intend to discuss for a min here.

I just wanted to mention that different things bother me about white and black guys alike. Some (not all, but a lot) black guys like to invade your space when they approach you, as if the deal is already sealed when they say their first word. They have a very loose and immature way of complimenting...such as "Girrrrl, you look Delicious!" (like I'm a piece of steak or something) This one guy (and he was wayyy older than me too) said every day at my old job, "You need to come have lunch with me." For real???

But white guys take more thought to their compliments... "You look very exquisite today" or "You look exceptional." I'm not joking, this is for real accounts. And some black women think this is lame, but I don't. But I definitely do not speak for the majority of women, and definitely not my friends for that matter.

But props to the brothas: I think the defining nature of a black man is his soldier-like foundation, if that makes sense, and this is what black women appreciate about them. It's not about a muscular build or complexion of skin...it's deeper than that. I understand this and likewise appreciate this (especially in my dad, my brother, and my friends). They have the ability to lead, build, and create when odds are completely against them. The strength of the black man is beyond definition, just like the strength of black women is.

But there are stigmas with this...a strong black woman must be with a strong black man. I do not see eye to eye with this. I have this conversation with some of my guy friends and it can go on for days. But, I just really have a problem with the thought that a strong black woman, in every sense of the word, can not be successful and happy with a white man. Maybe it's just me, but I really hate these stereotypes! But in my experience, I am sometimes sadly disappointed because one major thing that separates the black guy from the white one when it comes to black women, is the fact that the white guys are much too intimidated and reluctant to approach them. That alone, legitimizes the stereotype that strong black women are for strong black men. I still choose to believe otherwise, but like I said...I speak not for the majority. I'm of a small few. Personally, I have no problem with marrying outside of my race...I favor the idea more than people know I do.

L8R:
Ms. Pinky