Wednesday, May 09, 2012

She said she's too busy

Every man may have run across that woman that claimed she was too busy for love or relationship. I've used that several times myself before.  It's used so much now that men begin to think we're lying or just avoiding breaking their heart by simply saying we're not interested.  Well, you're right. That is absolutely correct.  However, I'd like to share a different perspective that may help when confronted with this situation in the future again.

Consider this.  Sometimes, even when a woman IS interested, she yet gives this response. So you can't be so quick to retreat. A traditional-type woman is frustrated by a man who gives up so easy.  After all, if she were easily gotten, what would be the significance and weight of the reward?  Sometimes, when a woman says, "I don't have time for romance," this is her indication to you that you haven't given her a reason to have time.  You haven't won her heart yet. 

You can be an amazing guy and have much to offer her. But if she doesn't know that, or you haven't shown her yet, she simply will not waste her time trying to figure that out when she has so many other things going on in her world.  Being "too busy" helps us to remain focused, keeps us on track, and keeps the stragglers out of our world - those who want to hang around and don't intend to put much into a relationship or stick around.  This is really what we are "too busy" for.  Show her something that she would love to have in her world; something that would add to her fulfillment and sustain her.  Work a little harder to show her just how amazing you really are! If you're afraid about putting this type of energy into someone you're unsure you want to go the long-haul with, take some more time to observe what's involved in her world and who she is.  Find out if you even want to enter into her world. Be creative. Be smart. Be prayerful. Be patient. And be the amazing you you are. When she's convinced, you'll receive your invitation.

Watch the movie, The Young Victoria, for more on this.



Worth Watching said...

This was a great write Faith [as usual]. First, I'm still trying to couple the video of "Young Victoria" with your piece and am failing lol... Interesting movie though. Secondly, I just want to add that a number of us, traditional men, have "adjusted". That's not to say we've changed or don't hold the same core values as we once did. The fact is, in a world saturated with shallowness and instant gratification, and self consumption we [men] have to have a system to 'weed' out those bad seeds... If a lady tells me shes too busy. I believe her. I will take her at her word. Of course if she's someone that I really want to peruse I will, respectfully but at the same time there's a limit. I'm also busy and since I don't fully know her, I may not jump through too many hoops less I neglect someone who does want my time. My energy... ME. A friend of mine told me a long time ago to "like the one that likes you."
I received that.

Faithe said...

Thanks for the feedback:

"Young Victoria" - have you seen it? My associating the movie with this post was because of the love story portion. If you recall, she immediately had an interest in him, but she didn't express it right away. She was "busy" trying to be a new young leader to her people and didn't have time for love. Until the pressure of her role pressed her so until she realized she needed Prince Albert more than she thought she did. She made him wait quite a bit. But he never stopped writing her and wooing her with his natural charm. Eventually she invited him to her palace and asked him to marry her. Aww! I love this story! :-)

"Like the one that likes you" - Have you never heard love stories from someone who said "At first I didn't like him at all!" I've heard that many times from people who are now happily married. They weren't even interested in their mate at first. We are persistent and unyielding with so many other things in life. But when it comes to love, men tend to shy away much too quickly. Fear of rejection I guess.

Worth Watching said...

My fault! Instead of saying interesting movie, I should have said interesting "trailer" lol... I have not yet seen the movie but I will... It is now at the top of my list for rentals.
You are right! I heard "at first I didn't like him/her" SO many times and usually with the ELDERLY couples. You are so right about that one.

Lastly, men are thrusted into the school of "Fear-of-rejection" in middle school, some in high school... At this age it is certainly not the fear of rejection that keeps [some] of us impatient and so quick to streamline the process. Usually, we just want to be sure that she loves us just as much/more than we love her. Men are persistent in everything that we like/want... When we get a woman to reciprocate that same interest, that same want it makes it so much easier to WANT to do more for her, seek her MORE... It's such an awesome circle when it's done like that.

But still... I definitely feel you on being "persistent" and "unyielding" when it comes to love.